Burn – Balance – Believe

Coach Joyce’s Weight Loss Tips. Warning! Brutal Honesty!

Coach Joyce’s Weight Loss Tips for Today:
1. Fruits are not vegetables. Eat vegetables and lots of them.
2. The roots you pull from the ground, skip them for now. They are sugar.
3. Mashed potatoes = hot ice cream. Skip it.
4. Fruit juices = flat soda. Skip it.
5. Gatorade and Sports Drinks = fruit juice = flat soda. Skip it.
6. Fruits = sugar. Skip them for now.
7. Bread = gluten = sugar = sugar addict = Skip it.
8. Cereal = bread = pasta = sugar = Skip it.
9. Eat protein, just enough.
10. Eggs don’t raise your cholesterol. Sugar raises your cholesterol.
11. Peas are not vegetables. They are legumes and full of sugar. Skip them.
12. Corn is not a vegetable. It’s sugar. Skip it.
13. Vegetable oils have no vegetables in them. There is no such think as a canola plant. It’s toxic rapeseed oil and inflammatory. Skip it.
14. Dairy = lactose = sugar = inflammatory to many. Skip it.
15. How do you get your calcium? See #1.
16. Can I drink almond milk? Why? It has little nutritional value.
17. How do I use coconut oil? Try cooking with it.
18. Don’t eat margerine, ever. Eat grass fed Butter #KerryGold
19. But I thought _____ was good for me? You were lied to.
20. I will die if I can’t eat pizza, pasta and bread. No you will be chronically ill and live a life on prescription medications and function marginally and then die if you do eat those things.
21. Everything in moderation. What? You’re saying you want moderate health (aka chronic illness)? Me, I want to thrive and have optimal health.
22. When I said eat the rainbow I did not mean Skittles (you know who I’m talking to.)

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